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The little that goes on inside my head. My attempt to waste some time between wasting times.  View My Guestbook Sign My Guestbook 
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Saturday, June 1
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i wanted to blog today, but i have blogger's block. There's a lot of things I'm thinking right now but I can't write them down in words...weird... Currently listening to: Summon of Champions Currently Downloading: Pomp and Circumstance - you can see sort of what I'm thinking about now.... Friday, May 31
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ok, where was I. 11 days left. Yet now everything still feels so...normal. It feels like it's just another year of HS ending before a new one begins, but it ain't comin' back babee. I was listening to the cheesy vitamin C song, and one line goes "these memories are playing like a film without sound..." you should try this, if you close your eyes and think back on the past four years, the first things that come to your head may not be your greatest defining moments, like a dance or the day you got together with your bf/gf #X, or acing a big test or making it into some team/group etc, but what shows up are the little, irrelevant moments through the four years that truly shaped you into who you are, for me personally it's the times when I got to know my friends better, and things that we did together, and words that were passed around on an unknown day at an forgotten place on campus. It's those images that it'll stay in our minds, while your big tests and big crushes will eventually become lingering shadows under your resume and old photo albums. Actually, that's my greatest fear: that everything and everybody we hold so dear and important to us right now will eventually become i-ve-seen-that-face-before pictures in the yearbook. We will all return to AHS later to visit, but we will never be a part of this place again, we'll be visitors from the outside world, dodging high school kids running up and down the hallways while trying to savor what it was like when we were here, but how much will we able to remember? How much of your kindergarten or elementary school do you remember? and wasn't it YOUR LIFE back then? Over the next 11 days I plan on visiting every single teacher i have ever had to say thanks, minus Cromwell of course. I really think I changed a lot since freshman year, mostly for the better (that's up for arguments), and I owe it to many special people in my life..esp one....and i need to tell that person how much i appreciate it before it's too late.....sigh update: talked to more Penn people online today, two guys going to PennEngineering, both are pretty cool, Penn will be an awesome experience! One of them even plays DDR!
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got my cap and gown tomorrow....THE day is edging closer and closer. I seriously feel like I haven't done enough here. I mean, academically I think we've all exhausted the classes they have here, but it's just the other stuff that I wish I had done. But o well, regrets never come to anything. Wednesday, May 29
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i thought i got rid of my mind plague, but it's the little things that really gets you when your guards are down and shoves me right back where I started... Tuesday, May 28
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ARGH my parents!!! For the firs time probably this year I spent the whole day out hanging with friends and the first thing they ask me when I get home is when my grades for 2nd semester senior year is coming......AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH now I remember why I applied to a school 3000 miles away Sunday, May 26
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I woke up this morning thinking I would spend the whole day reading, but my mom made me go with her on a shopping run that ended up spanning 3 stores and 4 hours. Then I came home and spent the rest of the day putting my room into boxes to get ready to move to the new house in July. Cleaning my room is like conducting an archeological dig. The most outer surface of all stacks of paper on my desk and rolls of books on my shelf represent the most recent activities: senior year work, recent volunteer event information, but as I explored deeper into the pile and peeked through the front row of books, I find scraps of paper from junior year, practice SATs from last summer, and even a sheet of paper with phone numbers of my English class project group from sophomore year! I guess I'm one of those people that want to hoard everything, but I'm getting better, so as painful as it was, I threw a lot of stuff away. It's a mazing how much junk gets accumulated over the years. Then after dinner I went to play tennis with jona grant and xandus and ended up playing for one hour only and spending another hour sitting on the street like bums talking about nothing relevant, high life babee! Saw star wars ep. 2 again last night with izy and brad, afterwards we got a funnel cake and sat on the sidewalk like bums and slobered the cake down. Fun! |