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The little that goes on inside my head. My attempt to waste some time between wasting times.  View My Guestbook Sign My Guestbook 
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Thursday, November 21
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today was tiring. I dragged myself out of bed in chains, went to phys, slept for the first 30 min and was half awake during the quiz at the end, then came back, had a 10 min nap and had to go out to Center City to train elementary school kids in red cross stuff. It's an interesting contrast between Arcasia and the school I went to, where the entire class was black except one little asian girl, who later I found out was autistic....I felt really bad =( So I taught them water safety, walked through half of philly to find a subway station, got back to campus, another 20 min break, during which I watched CCTV9 in Chintan's room, then back to another location in center city to conduct focus group with kids at an afterschool program. came back at 6, fed myself fodder at commons, and went over to a Tibetan monk chanting ceremony in college hall. the room was so nice, it belongs to the Philomathean Society, which was founded at Penn like 200 years ago and promots literature and all that intellectual crap, but it's the most ivy league -like room I've seen at Penn so far. Then in the room I saw this guy that looked really familiar, then I realized it was Richard Gere, who's known to be a free-tibet activist....I sat next to him during the chant...cool eh? no i didn't ask for an autograph came back, did one thought paper in....5 hours? i'm so productive no? I still have so much to do before Thanksgiving, but I'm just not working hard anymore.....bad Tuesday, November 19
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I've been going through emotional rollercoaster ride for the past two days. At times I'll feel like I'm finally getting established here and having friends to talk to and people who want to hang out with me, the next minute I'll feel like no one here wants to know me or care about me. I don't know which one is an illusion of which. I guess one thing that's always been through through high school, and how I had most of my friends, is the fact that I'll go along with anything and go out of my way to make sure everyone is happy and do what's best for everyone. Eventually I get used to it, they get used to it, and everyone's happy, no friction, beautiful. I'm always the first one to think of when they need help from someone they can count on, and sometimes when they have fun they'll be nice enough to ask me to join, but fundamentally I'm simply an all-purpose handyman. I go along because I think I'm making friends this way, but now I feel like nobody's taking me seriously and nobody has tried to really find out what I'm thinking. Well, I guess I do try to give off a nonchalant vibe so I won't have to trouble anyone with my problems, but doing so made me who I am today, a handyman. I know I'm not the best looking or coolest guy around, but I dare wish for a little more affection from others...I guess I shouldn't be asking for that, since all this time I've been living with the notion that I'm here to help you, no strings attached. I shouldn't be thinking this....but I can't help it. Maybe I'm turning selfish now....
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sigh...the feeling when you're down of scrolling down the buddy list and seeing no one you really want to talk to.....depressing Monday, November 18
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Wow...three hour sleep isn't so bad, I'm feeling pretty good. Maybe it's because I slept till 1:30PM yesterday or maybe because it was 32ยบ this morning when I went to class, but I woke up pretty quickly and actually paid attention during physics. It snowed at Cornell and Northwestern already, I feel gipped, I'm suffering the cold but not getting the snow =( This week is gonna be pretty busy, my management team's project all culminates this week and the beginning of next. Next tuesday will especially be fun, Alison comes at noon, I have to dress up in suits and all for a presentation to Red Cross senior exec board at 4PM and then run from Center City back to campus to take my physics midterm at 5PM, then at 7 I'm going with Mandy to the train station to pick up Angela, then the rest of the night should be really cool....looking forward to it =) Though I'm not tired, I don't feel like working this one hour between classes so I'm gonna take a nap just in case the lack of sleep catches up w/ me later. |